Friday, October 23, 2009

A Lesson to All

Here is my child. Ain't he cute?

I know. I know. I should be protecting him from the likes of the many distrubed strangers that may stumble across this blog who would want to risk their lives to take on the challenge of abducting and raising this gnarley thing as their own. But, I'd rather share him with you. All five of you who read this thing and the ocassional stranger who wanders across this site. I'm sharing him with you because I promise he will light up your life almost as much as he does mine. And, if you (yes, I'm talking directly to you, crazed internet stranger) get any ideas that you might want to try something funny with this guy, let this post be fair warning that there will be consequences. Consequences that you will not want to face. I promise.

On with the story.

Griffin attended the girls volleyball game last night at school. This is becoming a new routine for him and I am beginning to wonder about his newfound interest in volleyball. Or do you think it could be the girls? Hmmm...I'm sticking with the volleyball because that is more comforting to me. Anyway, who wouldn't be interested in such a great, competitive and exciting sport?! I mean really.

I arrived just a little after 7:30pm to pick him up and to my surprise I found him wandering the school grounds with a friend. It's dark outside y'all. Dark with danger lurking around every corner. Besides what happeneded to sitting on the bleachers in the gym showing your school pride and cheering on your schools team to an exciting vitory?

Needless to say, my parental concerns kicked into high gear. So, things went like this. He got in the car and the ramblings began. To save some time and spare some of the meaningless detail my arguments in list form sounded something like this:

1. Something bad could happen to you out there alone.
2. You weren't where you told me you would be.
3. Do you know that something bad could happen to you out there?
4. The girls on that volleyball team needed your support.
5. Do you know that some football players were threatened with pellet guns by a bunch of vagrant kids after school the other day and something bad could happen to you out there alone in the dark?
6. How do you even know how the volleyball team played?
7. What happens if a group of 15, crazed, gang members come and jump you out there in the dark? Something really bad could happen to you.
8. The cheerleaders just can't keep up the entire school spirit on their own. They need audience partipation. That means they need an audience.
9. How do you plan to protect yourself, young man if someone approached you out there in the dark?
10. Your friends on the volleyball team were counting on you being there.

Get the idea?

We return home and I promptly ordered a pizza for dinner because of course, I was famished from all of the worrying and ranting and Griffin was really, ready for me to shove something in my mouth so I would just shut up already. As Griffin was on his way out of the door to walk into the dark night across the street to pick up the pizza he turns and says...
"oh and mom, don't worry about me getting jumped by a group of 15 boys while I am gone. I have my pocket knife with me for protection."

Don't say you haven't been warned, internet stalker.


Anonymous said...

I can remember many times I did the same thing.. Nothing good comes from it!!! I hope I never have such a witty kid like yours because I would be laughing hysterically at that last remark! Can't wait to see ya'll! Liz

Christi said...

I love it! He is so quick witted! :-)

JaeRob said...

Volleyball? Really? Are they like state champs or something? I can't remember anybody but parents in the stands at my middle school volleyball games! I think he's up to no good.....

Amy said...

It's the girls. Definitely the girls. I'm just in denial, Jill.