Monday, April 27, 2009

Jaw Dropping Experience

Catch up time.

You may be familiar with the 5 year college plan, well I have been living out a 5 year dental plan. Unfortunately I took the A++ dental reports from my childhood for granted and for several completely irresponsible years in those late teens and early twenties did not take the time to brush the old teethies before passing out from one or two too many drinks from the night before. Needless to say, I am paying the price. Both physically and financially.

So, now that you have a run down on the dental history of Amy and are probably completely disgusted, I have to tell you that I spent two and half hours of agony in the dentist chair this last week. To say I hate dental work is a complete understatement. UNDERSTATEMENT I tell you!

My blood pressure goes up, my hands and feet swell up, my stomach turns and I imagine the worst possible scenarios that push me right into a fearful, tearful fit. No lie here, folks. Just ask the doc. He gets freaked out every time the tears flow.

But this trip was different. I went in expecting to just do a simple fix on a front tooth that was chipped from a fight I had with a peanut butter granola bar the week before. A minor sanding and refinishing job. Right?

Wrong! The dentist had other plans that he failed to inform me of until he had the drill in my mouth and was working his way to the furthest regions of my mouth. This by far, was the worst piece of my 5 year plan to correct the youthful negligence. Needless to say I learned the following things during the complete two and half hours of the jaw dropping experience:

1. My dentist, Dr. Mark Gray is the most patient and gentlest man in the world. No matter how much I HATE dental work, he is still the best!

2. No dentist should be allowed to turn a drill on until they have offered you an in chair massage, neck pillow, head phones (even though they are circa 1982, it's better than nothing for those of us with ipods not readily available) and drugs! Gas, pills, multitudes of the injectionable numbing stuff- no matter the form it is a must!

3. Public radio is the bomb! There is nothing more relaxing that a little classical concerto to drowned out the sound of your tooth being ground away.

4. It stinks when the dentist is working in your mouth so long that he had to make stops to check in on his regular well check patients. I think there could have possibly been a quick lunch break in there.

5. In fact, I'm pretty sure there was a smoke break in there for his assistant who's rubber coated, smoke smelling hands suctioned my mouth during the entire process. Gag!

6. Getting more intrusive dental work than expected is a perfect excuse to take the rest of the day off and catch up on a little TV time in a quiet house.

Needless to say, the completion phase of my dental plan is nearing. There is light at the end of the tunnel and 2009 will be that year. As pleasant as an experience as Dr. Gray and his staff attempt to make the process, I fear there is some long lost memory of a child hood experience that has traumatized me to the point of never having what some would call a "pleasant" dental work experience.

1 comment:

JaeRob said...

This makes me scared to go to the dentist...