Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Lunchtime Adventure Story

I ventured out for a little shopping on this absolutely gorgeous day because I just couldn't stand the thought of being couped up sweating my rear off in a spin class, which was my original plan for the day. As I crossed Main Street in downtown Houston, an apparent homeless man yells out to me,

"M'am, M'am you dropped something. You dropped something. Aren't you going to stop."

The only thing I had was my bag tucked tightly under my arm, because that is the only way to carry a bag in downtown Houston. My mind went quickly from "is he talking to me?" to "what could I have dropped?" to "is this guy a lunatic?" When I heard again...

"M'am, you dropped my heart right there on the sidewalk. Aren't you going to pick it up?"

Why no sir, I am not.

I moved along a little perplexed by that situation but thoroughly entertained.

As I was finishing up my lunch time adventure in Macy's, I noticed the same guy pass me as I was coming into the store. A grin crossed my face as I replayed our previous encounter and I promptly went about my business of purchasing some socks.

When no sooner was I in the store and at the counter about to pay and I hear the same voice...

"but I didn't take this shirt. I had it on when I came in. Go look at your video tapes."

I turned around and the noticed the same man, whose heart was splattered on the sidewalk outside, sporting a brand new plaid polo and striped cardigan with tags still attached being escorted by two security gaurds.

The moral of the story here is twofold.

1. Never, never throw your heart to someone who isn't looking or who has no interest in catching it. It will end up on the sidewalk, no doubt.


2. If you are going to shoplift shirts from Macy's first, be smart enough to take the tags off and be confident that two men wearing black jackets with gold letters spelling S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y will escort you straight to asset protection. Here you will probably be turned over to the police and have charges pressed against you. And then you may earn yourself at least one night in the county jail....with a bed, a meal or two, a toilet, a clean jumpsuit.

I was beginning to conclude the guy a lunatic, but I think he may be far smarter than he is given credit.

The End.

1 comment:

Christi said...

Sounds like it was quite the adventurous day!